Spanner is wrench, draughty is drafty, lorry is truck. You know lift is elevator and flat is apartment because you have those friends, or "mates", that think they sound well traveled when they use ubiquitous but distinctly British words.

I am still at a loss when I have to pee. I don't think they use the word "loo" so much anymore (though if you run out of toilet paper, it's "loo roll" you'll be after) but I feel too strange asking for the toilet. It seems so specific. I usually revert and ask for the restroom, and I sometimes score an eye roll for my trouble. I'm trying to train myself for the middle ground of ladies' room and ignore that I sound like I think I'm the wife of an earl.

Twatting. I originally thought this meant darn because of the prevalence of use, but it turns out it's extremely vulgar. But that doesn't slow the Brits down; stand on the sidewalk and it's every third or fourth word here.

It's not on = that's not right/ok with me (My downstairs neighbor, frustrated with the lack of action taken by the water company to fix a problem on the edge of her property, proclaimed to me when she finished her accounting of the various grievances, "That's just not on!")

Hire = rent (hire car/rental car)

Timber = wood (The manor library will be covered in timber paneling here.)

He was "sat" = he was sitting (The little grammar fiend in me finds this usage extremely distressing. Forget that this way of phrasing things is completely botched English; it sounds like some external force is exercising their will upon your choice of posture. Whenever I hear someone say they were sat somewhere waiting, I want to ask who exactly "sat" them there. But actually, even then it would be, "Who seated you there?" Like in a restaurant: you aren't sat at a table, you are seated. See? Freaking me out!)

Toy boy = boy toy (I first thought my lovely Italian friend living in Manchester had gotten this one wrong, so I was charmed by her use of it and pointed out it is actually boy toy. Only, here, it's not.)

Unfit = broken (This applies to the card reader on the bus, evidently, as you see above.)

Off your trolley = off your rocker

But:

To get trolleyed = to get drunk (There are many possibilities when describing drunkenness. See also, spannered, off me tits, off me chops, sozzled, etc.)

If you go out on the piss, you are heading out with the intention of getting drunk.

Cack = shit (Another one stolen from French.)

Cagoule = short rain jacket (Um, France called. They want their cultural identity back.)

Keep left. There are signs advising pedestrians to keep left, especially in the crowded train stations. But people still tend to keep right. So I get flustered and bump into everyone.

"See it. Say it. Sorted." This is the (dare I say, lacking) UK equivalent of New York's public transportation security announcement: "See something? Say something."

Pop your clogs = kick the bucket

Khaki here means army green, whereas American khaki is just tan. Confusing much?

"Chalk and cheese" is their phrase for apples and oranges, meaning not at all alike.

Sweeties are candy. This one makes me want to screw up my nose. Combined with the accent, it's just too too.

Naughty. This is still used unironically over here, enjoying its place in popular parlance since, what, the Middle Ages? So, weirdly for an American, it's a Mum accusing her 3-year-old of being "a naughty boy" instead of someone's girlfriend in a movie doing the same with a much different meaning and a much different outfit. My aforementioned Italian friend finds this extremely disconcerting every time she hears it, being more familiar with American English. I must say, I tend to agree.

Cheeky = sly or indulgent (They love using this one. For everything. Especially in context of sneaking off to the popular food chain of choice for a "cheeky Nando's.")

Tea = dinner/supper (This one makes NO SENSE to me. Tea is tea. It is not a meal. Particularly when tea is actually rarely served at said meal. Say what you mean! My husband asked me what we were having for tea the other night, and I refused to answer. Yes, it annoys me into a state of petulance.)

Yonkers/yonks = a really long time (Not a place in New York, apparently.)

And on and on it goes...